He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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