Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize