just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
