I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize