I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
