Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
