ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
