At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you would pick up someone in the library
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
