He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Damn victory sex feels great
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
