I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
