He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So vagazzling was a success
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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