It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
