Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
