I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
