it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
