he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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