dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
