You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
