There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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