Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
