we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
