I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
