I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A bitchslap is in order.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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