Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize