all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize