Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
