It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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