Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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