jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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