just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she smelled like a LAN party
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
