I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
