No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
