We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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