is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
