After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
