I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
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