Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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