i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
