I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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