hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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