Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
