Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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