he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize