I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
