Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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