R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The air taste purple.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
