clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
