HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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