she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
