Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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