Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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