This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
