By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
