Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
