Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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