keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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