He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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