Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
