A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize