Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
