Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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