watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize