Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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