I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
