Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
