Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
