we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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