I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
