I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
