i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize