he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize