I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
