youre lurking in front of me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
