I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
