Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
