Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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