I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize