it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
