haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
