Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
