3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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