She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
