i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I skipped work to stalk him.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
