school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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