One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
