He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
NoShamevember. You game?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize