He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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