Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
